Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Guest Blogger: Treasures from Darkness Series 2: Tips for a Marriage When One Partner Is In Pain

Today, I share Series 2 of Guest Blogger, Treasures from Darkness ~ Cynthia Lott Vogel.  Cynthia has been dealing with mental illness, chronic pain and maintaining her faith for many year.  

As many of us that suffer from chronic pain we know that our personal relationship are affected as well. 

I've asked Cynthia to share some points since she's been married during the same time she's been suffering from her conditions.  

I hope that this series will continue to bring comfort, inspiration and open dialogue.  Please feel free to visit Treasures from Darkness.
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Tips for a Marriage when One Partner is in Pain.

First to the sufferer:

-Follow all of the advice listed above....It applies to your relationship with your spouse more than it does to anyone.
-Give your spouse a break.  It isn't their fault that you are in pain...don't take it out on them.
-Allow your spouse to have periods when they are “off-duty”...time just for them.
-If your spouse is unsympathetic, NO amount of whining is going to change that...in fact it will make matters worse.
-Marriage is for better, for worse; in sickness and in health. Your spouse agreed to that, so don't beat yourself up for not being the spouse they married.
-On the other hand, they still have the option of walking...so if they stay, give them appropriate credit for that...EVEN if that's all they do for you--it's still more than a lot of people would do.
-Try to smile sometimes.  Your spouse really needs to see a smile from you – at least once in a while.
-Try to have a sense of humor about your situation. It will take the edge off of many uncomfortable moments.
-Do what you can with the strength you have.  If you have a decent day and are able to vacuum the living room, then do it.  Pull your weight as much as you are able.
-Take your complaints to God, and NOT to your spouse.

@2011 by Cynthia Lott-Vogel    All rights reserved 

3 comments:

Kathryn said...

Cynthia, your comments are inspirational. Thank you for sharing them with us.
Ksb1205 WPLH

Cynthia said...

Thank you Kathryn! It was my joy to do so. It was a good opportunity to think about it and to look at the lessons God is teaching me as well.

The Purple Lady said...

I appreciate the guidance on what to do to improve. It helps sometimes to be reminded or given some new ideas! hope you might check out my blog too:
All Things Purple
http://iheartpurplestuff.blogspot.com

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