Thursday, July 14, 2016

Confessions of A Thinner Me

I would have never, in my dreams, thought that I would be this thin! Never wished it. I was comfortable being a plus size gal. I've been one for decades. Plus size fashion, models are in!

I had the support of the plus size community, on social media. I even did a stint on Go Curvy, as an outfit of the day contributor!

When I developed severe digestive issues, while on oral steroids, I found myself unable to eat. When I did, my body let me know it didn't like it, in the worst ways. There were many nights I would go to bed only eating once. I was too weak and sick to eat!

It actually took several months till I could get 'my system' settled. (this is an ongoing issue)

I was given a recommended food list. No more dairy, chocolate, acid foods. I was told to stop drinking coffee but I found cold brew coffee much kinder to my stomach. I had to quickly adapt to small portions and no fatty, processed , spicy foods and carbonated beverages.

Some of the approved foods bothered me. There were times that I thought of myself as a lab experiment.

My clothes were literally falling off of me. Perhaps, some would say, "That's a good thing" but I had nothing to wear. After all, I was losing weight because I had developed a chronic illness. Another one to add to my long list! And I was still too weak to go shopping!

At times, I would be angry. What is happening to me? When will my weight loss stop? I was scared!

Each time I would purchase a pair of new jeans, I would tell myself, "This will be your size". A few weeks would go by, the jeans no longer fit!

I wanted to be happy even thrilled with my new body type. What I wasn't prepared for was the sadness of no longer being plus size. How do I dress my new body? Will my husband love this new me? Will I?

Nobody tells you that you might have difficulties when you lose a lot of weight. As a society, we celebrate it. I sure did try! But inside, I didn't know where I belonged. After losing 65 pounds, I could no longer wear Gwynnie Bee fashions. They don't have much selection for sizes 10. I also found that the clothes were no longer appealing to me.

This gal had to go searching for a clothing subscription service that would have smaller sizes, styles that I would like at a budget price! That's when I found Le Tote!

I had never worn many of their styles before but that's what I loved about Gwynnie Bee. So I jumped in and am now a Le Tote fan!

It certainly helped my mood to have access to beautiful clothes, in multiple sizes, as I continued to lose weight. In time, I even started to feel more positive, as I continue to navigate this new journey.

Finally, what I've learned is I don't have to belong to a group to be happy. Just being me, the best me I can, makes me smile!~ inside and out!

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